The Van Who Fell To Earth

Far away in a distant galaxy is a small planet called Harmonica.The inhabitants of this world look like humans but they live on music,if they don't absorb lots of music every day they shrivel up and die.The planet was in trouble because the music was running out,if they didn't find new music they were doomed.They decided to send someone out into the universe to search out new music,his name was I-Van and he was to go to planet Earth where they had heard there was lots of music.
"Which of the Earthlings is the most musical?"
"The Irish,they can get a tune out of anything"
"Ireland it is then",and I-Van was launched into space.For astral weeks he hurtled across the cosmos before crashing into some dustbins in the yard of 125 Hyndford St,Belfast. George and Violet Morrison were having a quiet evening in,listening to their favourite records when they heard an almighty crash.

"What the hell was that?"said George.
They went outside and found Van, "Hello wee fella,whats your name?"
"I-Van,now feck off up the yard and find me some music"
"He is a nasty piece of work"said George.
"I like him,said Violet,"lets keep him"
"Alright" said George,Little did he realise what lay in store.
In his room Van soaked up Georges records, blues, soul, jazz,country,folk, gospel and on Sundays Debussy when contemplation was good and fell asleep in restful slumbers listening to Radio Luxembourg.At school he would gaze out of the window and think,
"I've gotta go back"
He didn't like the Earthlings, they gave him a feeling of underlying depression and melancolia.George and Violet tried to cheer him up.

"What would you like for your birthday wee fella?"
"Get me a fecking saxophone,and not a cheap secondhand one neither"
Next day he showed it to his pals, "Where did you get that?"
"My daddy bought me it, i can play one note,lets form a band"
Lots of bands came and went till one year Van said,
"We need a new name,something that sounds like aliens from another planet".
"What about THEM"
"Thats it, our new name! follow me lads"
"Where are we going?"
"Up the fecking charts, thats where we are going!
25th March 1965 THEM reach 2 in the UK charts with 'Here Comes The Night',They move on to the USA where the band fall apart and Van meets Janet Planet.

They decide to get married,but it is doomed from the outset when on their wedding night she finds out that he glows in the dark.

 "Aaaaargh,You're green".
"Green is the colour of spring and green can be warm and friendly like,and green can be big like an ocean,but why wonder?i am green,and i think is what i want to be",said Van,glowing with a hideous luminosity,
"Turn on your electric light and we can get down to what is really wrong,sweet lady of the night,i want to feel you".
"You ain't feeling nothing,you wierdo, green!.What will the neighbours say?,i married a monster from outer space".
Things never really recovered after that.Van threw himself into work to f fforget  his troubles and in 1968 he released 'Astral Weeks'his album on which he came clean about his alien background. "I aint nothing but a stranger in this world, I got a home on high, So far away".
                                                                        I-Van the alien is now world famous but his private life is in turmoil.Worn down by rejection that hurts his humble pride he retreats from the world into an alcoholic haze.One night in a bar he has a chance encounter that changes his life.
"Have you got a light Mac?"
"No but i got a dark brown overcoat"
"Wise guy huh, i know you,you're Van Morrison ain't cha"
"No, im Bozo the fecking clown, who the feck are you?"
"Never mind the name,i know all about you,i used to write about you all the time"
"What happened?"
"I knew too much, the old fogies didn't like it,i wanna give you some advice kid,this place aint for you,you dont need these big time operators,go back to Ireland,spend some time with your own ones, this world is too cold, they dont care nothing for your soul".
"I might just do that,thanks for the information".
                                                       Van returned to Ireland and made his best album in years, Veedon Fleece and after a period of transition moves to beautiful Wiltshire and buys Wool Hall Studios at Beckington just 5 miles from the home of the eccentric blogger Pat.

Thus begins his most fruitful period in which he trys to teach the Earthlings all about the healing power of music.Van throws himself into work with a new intensity and produces a whole series of other-worldly albums that contained beautiful visions and mystical raptures which induced states of meditation in the listener and ecstasy of a higher plane. The sad truth was though that although he could produce the healing power of music in his countless fans by the music inducing changes in the hormonal secretions of the endochrine glands of the Earthlings he couldnt heal himself.The underlying depression and melancolia were getting worse and worse.He began to realise that he had been abandoned on a strange world. Sometimes he felt like a motherless child. I-Van would put on his boots and old grey coat and go walking in the woods,he would look up past Orion the hunter twinkling in the daring night and he realised he would never see his native Harmonica again. The sadness was nearly unbearable.
                            At a party organised by Dublin socialite Desmond Guinness in 1993 I-Van met someone who was to put the twinkle back in his eye. It was gorgeous ex Miss Ireland Michelle Rocca. I-Van was bowled over.
"What would you do if you saw a spaceman?"he asked her.
"Well i think i'd park in it man", she replied wittily.
"I know you"said Michelle,"Ive heard that you are worth in the region of £45,000,000,thats my sort of region!,would you like to go out one night wee fella?
"You might get disgusted,start thinking that i'm strange,i glow green in the dark".
"Sure who gives a shite! we love green in Ireland, we have 40 shades of the fecking stuff.I love green, 'tis the colour of money!" "This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship!"
And they lived happily ever after.?

THE END.

Backstreet Jelly Roll

There are many key words that keep appearing in the lyrics of Van Morrison songs,words like vision,avenue, gardens,mystic, rain, healing,slipstream and Jelly Roll. Jelly Roll?.Where did that come from then?I looked on the internet to find the meaning and as I suspected it is a New Orleans slang term for a womens ahem.. naughty bits or a mans todger or the act of bringing the two together.It is very unusual to have a slang term for both male and female bits.
                                          I first became aware of the expression  on Van Morrison's album Moondance in the song 'And It Stoned Me' where Van sings,
And it stoned me to my soul
Stoned me just like Jelly Roll.

 Being a young hippy at the time i naively thought that it was some sort of drug reference as in 'stoned' and Jelly Roll was slang for some drug.Van had used the term earlier in the song 'He Ain't Give You None' on the 'Blowing Your Mind ' album which was released in 67 much to Vans disgust.In the song Van sings,
"I've done more for you
Than your Daddy has ever done,
Gave you my jelly roll
And he ain't give you none".

Which has a much more obviously sexual meaning to it..The expression crops up again on the 'Into The Music' album from 79 in the sublime track 'And The Healing Has Begun'.Again it has a meaning of sexual healing.

"let's play this Muddy Waters record you got there,
if you just open up a little bit
and let me ease on in this backstreet jellyroll".

Backstreet Jelly Roll occurs again in the song Philosopher's Stone on the Back On Top album from 98.
"I was born in the backstreet, born in the backstreet Jelly-Roll
I'm on the road again and I'm searching for the Philosopher's Stone.On the track 'On Hyndford Street',Van says,
"Coming back to Hyndford Street, feeling wondrous and lit up inside
With a sense of everlasting life
And reading Mr. Jelly Roll and Big Bill Broonzy
And "Really The Blues" by "Mezz" Mezzrow
And "Dharma Bums" by Jack Kerouac
Over and over again."                                

 Mister Jelly Roll is a book by Alan Lomax about Jelly Roll Morton and as i was already aquainted with Big Bill Broonzy, Mezz Mezzrow and Jack Kerouac i knew i had to read this book.I looked on Ebay and although the book is available in a new paperback edition i didn't want that.I wanted to buy the edition that Van himself might have read as a kid in 1950's Belfast.I found the 1st UK edition published in 1952 complete with dustjacket and in very good condition considering it is 60 years old.It cost a lot but i thought,"Oh well,i can always resell it in my bookshop and recoup my money".I also bought a double CD 'Jelly Roll Morton,The Essential Recordings'.The book arrived first and i eagerly opened it.Although i didn't know anything about Jelly Roll Morton apart from hearing the name i did know a bit about the author Alan Lomax because a few months ago i had read a book called 'America Across The Sea' by Shirley Collins.She is a quite famous English folksinger who had a relationship with the musicologist Alan Lomax  in the 50's and they had toured America together recording and collecting the Blues and Folk music..They recorded music in the fields and even in prisons and captured on tape music that would otherwise have remained unknown.They also discovered Blues singers who would have lived out their lives in obscurity such as Mississippi Fred McDowell.

One day in 1938 Alan Lomax  sat down in a Washington  studio and began recording Jelly Roll for the  Library Of Congress and allowed him to tell his story.As he talked Jelly Roll played the piano and a new form of writing history was invented.An autobiography with music.These recordings were not originally meant for general release but I believe they have been recently released on CD.Jelly Roll told the story of New Orleans and the Mississippi delta where the great river washed its muddy foot in the Gulf and the Jazz music of the 20^th century was born.His real first name was Ferdinand after the King of Spain but he adopted the name Jelly Roll.One thing I have learned about Jelly Roll was that he was cheated out of a fortune by the corrupt American music business.Something that Van would have sympathy with.Also reading this book helped me understand why Van loves New Orleans so much..New Orleans is mentioned in several Van songs as well as Bourbon Street and Fats Domino and Doctor John.I wonder if Vans fascination with New Orleans began with him reading this book?.A lot of what Jelly Roll says is just bragging and I have read since that at every session Alan Lomax provided him with a bottle of whisky and you have to wonder if you can trust Lomax’s editing of the recordings. Shortly after he made the recordings Jelly Roll was stabbed in a fight which eventually led to his death in 1941.The book which Lomax later wrote also includes interviews with people who knew Morton and letters to his wife Mabel and the lyrics and music to some of his songs.

 The double CD I ordered arrived last Saturday morning which I eagerly played.and I must say I enjoyed it.I haven’t got many Jazz albums,2 Miles Davis,a Gerry Mulligan,Billie Holliday,Charlie Parker and one or two others and I don’t know much about the history of Jazz and if Jelly Roll invented it as he claimed.I don’t suppose I will play it very often.It is the music of 90 years ago and is slipping into being an artefact of history.There is one track called Whining Boy Blues which must be where Van got the idea for Whining Boy Moan from. Van sings
"Well they call him Mr. Jellyroll
It's just the way he rolls his dough
Let the whinin boy moan
Let the whinin boy moan
Let the whinin boy moan
If you don't know how to do it yourself".

Which shows that even in modern times Mr Jelly Roll Morton is still an influence on Van Morrison just as he was when Van was a young kid in the back streets of Belfast reading his dads books about Jazz and Blues and listening to his dads record collection.Thats where he comes from man, the back-streets, back street jelly roll, Yeah! dig it.

The End.

WININ' BOY BLUES - Jelly Roll Morton - Sidney Bechet - 1939

Van Morrison - the Healing Game

We can let it roll
On the saxophone
Back street Jelly Roll
In the healing game

Market Days

One of my old school friends sent me this photo recently.It was taken in about 1969.It was taken the day we climbed up to the top of the school tower which was out of bounds.I suppose we took the photo to prove to the other kids that we had been up there.You can see the tower from the outside in the other picture.
My friends name is Darryl but at school he had the nickname Daz.I hadn't seen that photo for 43 years and it certainly brought some memories flooding back.I might write a story about school days later but what i remember most about Daz was us working together on Peterborough Market on Saturdays.We worked for Mr Holdich selling fruit and vegetables.Daz and i got there first and set up the trestle tables then Mr and Mrs Holdich turned up in the lorry with Peter who was this skinny little urchin.
"Morning Daz",said Peter
"Piss off".
"Morning Pat",
"Get stuffed".
Then we would grab hold of him and put some dirt off the carrots down his neck.
"Look,stop picking on Peter,he hasn't got a father and his mother is no good",explained Mr Holdich.One day Peter announced he was joining the army,when we asked why he said,"Well its a good life",then we asked what the money was like,"I'm not sure but its bound to be good".How long had he signed up for? "er,i'm not sure",It turned out to be nine years.About two weeks after he joined the army he phoned up Mr Holdich and he was crying,"Can you buy me out of the army please Mr Holdich? the other boys keep beating me up".Mr Holdich had to pay £400 to buy him out of the army and he came back to the market.

                                                                    
Once we had the lorry unloaded Daz and i ran along the front chucking the prices on everything, often the price tickets would land back to front.
"Look,we know the prices, its the customers who want to know the bloody prices",Said Mr Holdich.If a nice looking woman walked by Mr Holdich would say,"I bet she can perform".
.A very attractive lady used to come to the stall every Saturday morning and Mr Holdich would say,
"You see her over there,she was Miss Sawtry 1947,i could have married her, but look at what i had to go and bloody marry".Mrs Holdich was a funny woman with frizzy hair and a red face and some peculiar habits that i won't go into.
                       Mr Holdich grew all the vegetables himself on his farm and he kept pigs as well.One day i said i wouldn't mind being a farmer.
"No,to be a farmer you have to start off with about £30,000 so you can lose it all like i have", he explained.You couldn't help liking him,he had such an unfortunate life.Once he got burgled and the thieves even stole his wheelbarrow to take away his safe.Mr Holdich was quite proud of the fact that the story got in the national daily papers.

 The bloke on the opposite stall was a cockney called Ginger who attracted customers by shouting out all this lingo like,"Sixpence each yer peach,every one a ball of wine, one and six a pound yer boy scouts,yer brussell sprouts,don't forget your mother,you;ll never get another,get your runners and riders here" etc and all that kind of carry on.When he was advertising his spuds he would shout out,"Lincolnshires" and Daz and i would shout out "Pinking shears",just to annoy him.We said to Mr Holdich that he should give it a go and do a bit of barking.
"Cheap carrots, cheap carrots"he squeaked
halfheartedly.He was crap at it so we told him to shut up.The market cleaner was called Kingy,he was a funny little bugger, he wore a cloth cap and always kept a Jamaica cake in his pocket and cut of a slice with a penknife.one day he turned up at the stall without his sweeping brush.
"They've gorn and retired me Gordon, i don't know what i'm going to do",
"Don't worry Kingy, you can work with us",said Mr Holdich who was too kind for his own good.Before long Mrs Holdich had sacked him for stealing.
"Honest Gordon,i never nicked no ten bob".
"No, it was a pound note, i saw you put it in your pocket", said Mrs Holdich.
                                                                                                                     The market stall used to get really busy and Daz and i were brilliant at serving the customers at speed.One Christmas Mr Holdich put me in charge of selling Christmas trees and holly against a wall at the side of the market.The holly was really good,covered in berries and all these women just dived on it and were almost fighting over it.I lost all control and just let them get on with it.Another time i remember seeing two women fighting when one of them caught her husband out shopping with his fancy woman.That was really vicious..We used to be on the market from 6.00 in the morning until about 7.00 in the evening.Then i'd head home with a big bag of fruit and vegetables for my mum.
                 Saturday nights we used to go to the flicks and see films like Butch Cassady And The Sundance Kid or Midnight Cowboy.Sometimes there were parties and we would drink Watneys Party 7's and Woodpecker Cider and explore girls,mainly from the outside of the bra.One night me and Daz and another friend were walking home from a party and we met this skinhead who had just come out of a chipshop.He put his chips down on a wall and challenged all three to a fight.He kept persisting till in the end Daz got fed up and punched him on the nose.He realised he had bitten off more than he could chew and ran off but he tripped over on the road which had been newly surfaced and his face was covered in tar and bits of gravel.To add insult to injury we ate his chips.

              Two happy years went by working for Mr Holdich until finally it was the end of summer of 1970. I was off to college.It was a beautiful day as i got on the train bound for North Wales.As Peterborough Cathedral disappeared into the distance little did i realise what lay ahead.A new chapter in my brilliant career was about to begin.

Reading Big Bill Broonzy

One of the many things i like about listening to Van Morrisons music is that he is such a name dropper.Vans songs are littered with references to the writers and musicians who have influenced him.Van is trying to turn on the listener to the things that he enjoys.He is saying "I dig this,check it out".It is very educational being a Van fan and i have discovered lots of great music because of Van and learned a lot about the history of music.In the song 'On Hyndford Street' Van says
'And reading Mr. Jelly Roll and Big Bill Broonzy
And "Really The Blues" by "Mezz" Mezzrow
And "Dharma Bums" by Jack Kerouac
Over and over again'.

I have mentioned Really The Blues by Mezz Mezzrow and Dharma Bums by Jack Kerouac in previous articles so tonight i would like to have a look at Big Bill Broonzy who i have been curious about for a while.I had never heard any of his music until last week but i had heard the name and i knew that Eric Clapton and Keith Richards were big fans of him.I looked him up on Wikipedia and found that the book that Van must have read was 'Big Bill Blues',his autobiography which Bill narrated to Belgian writer Yannick Bruynogue.It was published in 1955.My curiousity was aroused,i knew i had to read this book.I looked on Ebay and found a hardback edition published by the Jazz Book Club in the UK in 1957." That will do nicely",i thought to myself and clicked 'Buy Now' .Then i thought that it was pointless reading the book without hearing the music so i bought a CD as well, 'Big Bill Broonzy, The Anthology.A couple of days later they both arrived.

The book is a wonderful read.It is divided into three sections,My Life, My Songs and My Friends in which Bill narrates his story in a very droll manner.It is full of amusing anecdotes about his life.There are also lots of great photos of himself and his friends such as Washboard Sam,Memphis Slim,Lonnie Johnson,Memphis Minnie,Jack Dupree,Sonny Terry and many others.I listened to the CD while reading the book and i must say that i really like it.Sometimes when i listen to Blues albums i find them a bit samey and i get bored but not so with this double album because there is lots of variety in it.It contains his most famous song 'Key To The Highway' which as you know Eric Clapton recorded with Derek And The Domino's.The influence on Van can be seen on such songs as Outskirts Of Town,John Henry and Midnight Special.What really impressed me about the album though is the seemingly effortless country blues guitar picking.You can see why the likes of Bert Jansch,Eric and Keef looked up to him.Also you can see where the British Skiffle movement of the 50's got some of its ideas from such as the use of a washboard as an instument and Lonnie Doneghan even took his name from Bills friend Lonnie Johnson.

Like a lot of American blues artists such as Champion Jack Dupree, Sonny Terry,Brownie McGee, Little Walter etc Bill spent a lot of time touring Europe where he was a huge success and even met and fell in love with a lady in Amsterdam and had a son who still lives there. He died in 1958 from cancer.His influence lives on though and many great guitarists cite him as an influence During the inaugaration of President Obama the words of his song Black,Brown And White Blues were used in the benediction.so thank you very much Van for introducing me to the music of Big Bill Broonzy.

Astral Weeks Live by Shannon Vale

I had to go to Bath on Friday so i took a book along to read on the train.The book was 'Astral Weeks Live,A Fans Notes' by Shannon Vale.I was so engrossed in it i nearly missed my stop at Bath and ended up in Bristol Temple Meads.I have bought many books about Van over the years and i have disliked most of them.They are either full of factual inaccuracies or downright insulting. After the terrible so called biography by Johnny Rogan i was determined not to buy another.I had to get this book though because Shannon is a friend of mine and i have enjoyed reading her articles about Vans music over the years.This book is a refreshing change because Shannon is a genuine fan who knows what she is talking about.This isn't a book about Van Morrison,it is a book about Van Morrison's music.It is also about Shannon's adventures on the road as she follows the concerts on the Astral Weeks tour when Van performed for the first time the masterpiece which he recorded in 1968.It is written in a very unpretentious manner with a lot of humour as well such as Shannons attempts to sell her house to the despair of the estate agent. It is also about the fans and i must say i enjoyed reading about some of the people who i have met at the pre-show meet ups and become friends with..The Van fans are a talented bunch.Shannon has included an excellent portrait of Van by Dail Gibson.
                                                          You won't find any myths about Van in this book or gossip about his private life.I think Van would enjoy reading this book.Van is playing two major concerts in Ireland soon and i won't be there but i am sure the concerts will come alive for me through the writing of Shannon Vale.If you were at any of the Astral Weeks concerts or bought the Live At The Hollywood Bowl album or the DVD or if you are a Van Morrison fan then you will love this book and i urge you to buy it.

Shannon has an excellent website and you can find details of the book here-

http://followshannon.com/?page_id=178